Once And Never Again

How sweet will it be
To feel the pain once and never again
For a while she had thought of it
But finally the courage she gained
While it is feared by many
Few seek refuge in it
Not to say that her options weren’t plenty
But death she found to be more appealing
Tasting the waters was out of question
To swim the whole ocean she was finally willing

Friday 13th of August
She was no longer among us
Why on top of whys
But her lips were permanently sealed the one to answer
Cry over cries till tears dried
So Shocked and surprised
Maybe that’s an understatement
She could never do such a thing
Clearly they were mistaken
Only Nineteen years of age
What might have pushed her to the edge
So as to think that was the only way
Was she running that late
For she didn’t say goodbye to anyone
If only she could come back and give her last words
What difference would it make then
But she did come back anyway
Not in person but as a letter she wrote
Before she decided her curtains to close

“To whom ever it may concern
I know few or maybe none
I pictured I would have a lot to write
But now quite the reverse
Not a goodbye note
Not at all
For what’s so good about this bye after all
The same people who led me this way all along
You handed me the directions made sure I didn’t get lost
Thank you all for am seconds away from home
What took me this long
I sure wish the answer was I don’t know
But sadly I do and it was you
Yes you all of you
The thought of one day it may hit you
That I am a human too
That I deserves more than what I was requesting
Giving me names which came in plenty
Freak Nerd retard Moron and Crazy
Was just but a few of what you planned for me on a daily basis
What did I do to deserve all the ‘blessings’
To be the one on everyone’s mouth
I didn’t know it was a crime to be the odd one out
I know am different but we all are
You don’t know how much I would give
Just to have one of you look at me twice
And maybe smile
It’s useless to think my writing you’ll read while my words weren’t enough
I’ll stop here before it’s too much
With all said and done
No one cares after that
Not ready yet but home here I come”

And true to her words no one did care
Or maybe they did but it was too late
Too late to tell her otherwise
Too late for she’s now on the other side
Good memories to cherish they lacked
For it was like looking for a black stone in the dark
New moon after the other her name still on the streets
Stories were told about her as if she was a myth
Her face they painted all over the streets walls
As if she was some freedom hero
It’s was almost impossible for a day to end without someone mentioning her name
But nothing lasts forever and in this case it was the same

After a few years her name was forgotten
The paintings on the walls faded
The stories remained untold
She was no more and life goes on
The guilt in their heart long gone
Only if she had stayed and tell her story herself
Hope she’s in a better place
For if not what a waste
She had a whole tomorrow waiting for her ahead
Contented with life was she that she decided to go that day
All I want to know is was it all worth it
To feel the pain once and never again

~Dido